Why Ventriloquists Can’t Get Laid

[tps_title]Threesomes Are For Humans Only[/tps_title]

If you wanted to have sex with an inanimate object then you might as well use your battery-operated boyfriend, or what others fondly call B.O.B. At least you’ll be in charge and know exactly what you do and don’t like during sex. First of all, ventriloquist dolls are not exactly the Kens of their category. And secondly, how will their handler even concentrate on you if they’re too busy taking care of their wooden buddy? Even if you aren’t that hard to please, it’s pretty obvious that you’ll want to be on the receiving end of the pleasure-giving and not wracking your brain as to how to give a tree-carved puppet its own wood, right?