16 Dirty Cocktail Names That Should Not Be Uttered at a Work Conference

You wouldn’t think that a shot of what looks like your typical Bailey’s drink is actually called Screaming Orgasm. You wouldn’t be caught dead uttering that name out loud. In fact, you’d rather stick to a bottle of beer than say something that just sounds like it came out of a porn movie. Why not watch “Bumpin’ Donuts” or “Shaving Ryan’s Private” while you’re at it?

Yep – these sexual drinks are dirty indeed. So the next time you’re out with your boss, be mindful of what you order. You wouldn’t want him to hear you say, “I’d like some Sex on the Beach.” Well, you could always dare to say it, but don’t expect to get any respect when you report to work the next day. Seriously, you would probably get less respect than Rodney Dangerfield.  And with a bad case of hangover to boot!

But if you’re out with your pals for a drunken bachelor party, whip out your knowledge of the world’s dirtiest drinks! The drinks on this list certainly put the word “cock” in “cocktail.” It ain’t a pretty sight, but it’s certainly a hoot!

16 Dirty Cocktail Names & Recipes

1. Bend Over Shirley

What You Need:

• 1 1/2 oz. raspberry vodka
• 4 oz. Sprite soda
• 3/4 oz. Rose’s grenadine syrup

What to Do:

• Fill a 12oz. glass with cubed ice.
• Add 1.5 oz. of Raspberry Vodka.
• Add Sprite, and top off with Grenadine.
• Garnish with two Maraschino Cherries.

This is certainly one cocktail your grandmother wouldn’t even dream about ordering. Sure, she’s a big fan of Shirley Temple, but this little girl we’re talking about is more like Madonna. Dirty, deadly, and treacherous. But she’s loads of fun! While the old fuddy-duddies won’t appreciate your humor, your Uncle Olaf might just take you to his next party and introduce you to his buds as his heir apparent. That’s because you’re the only one who seems to have inherited his filthy sense of humor.

2. Cock Sucking Cowboy

What You Need:

• Two parts butterscotch Schnapps
• One part Baileys

What to Do:

• Layer in a shot glass

Giddy-up, Cowboy, ‘cause it’s time to re-live the scenes from Brokeback Mountain – or at least fool your friends into thinking you are. If you find yourself stuck in a room full of men you can’t stand, whip this drink out and start serving it to the guests. This is a good way to have yourself kicked out of the party. Then, grab your car keys and order something so manly it makes you forget the stunt you just pulled.

3. 1-900-FUK-MEUP

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What You Need:

• 1/2 oz. Absolut Kurant
• 1/4 oz. Grand Marnier
• 1/4 oz. Chambord
• 1/4 oz. Midori Melon Liqueur
• 1/4 oz. Malibu Coconut Rum
• 1/4 oz. Amaretto
• 1/2 oz. Cranberry Juice
• 1/4 oz. Pineapple Juice

What to Do:

• Shake ingredients in a glass filled with ice cubes.
• Strain and serve in a Whiskey Sour Glass.

This drink needs no elaborate introduction. Take a look at the ingredients you’ll spontaneously combust with the amount of alcohol it contains. Warning: A glass of water on standby is a must!

4. Adios Motherfucker

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What You Need:

• 1/2 oz vodka
• 1/2 oz rum
• 1/2 oz tequila
• 1/2 oz gin
• 1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
• 2 oz sweet and sour mix
• 2 oz 7-Up® soda

What to Do:

• Take a chilled glass filled with lots of ice cubes (rocks) and pour all ingredients into the glass (except the 7’up soda).
• Top it off with the 7-Up soda.
• Gently stir and enjoy!

If there’s one drink that makes you forget all your worries, it’s this. A name so fitting for a drink that’s set to make you forget where half the night went. Wake up the next day and wonder where your wallet was. Then, spend the next week or so banging your head on the wall and punishing yourself for sheer stupidity. Hey, you gotta have those moments at least once in your life!

5. Sex on My Face

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What You Need:

• 1/2 oz. Yukon Jack Canadian whisky
• 1/2 oz. Malibu coconut rum
• 1/2 oz. Southern Comfort peach liqueur
• 1/2 oz. banana liqueur
• 1 splash cranberry juice
• 1 splash pineapple juice
• 1 splash orange juice

What to Do:

• Mix ingredients in a tall glass filled with ice.

Want to know what it feels like to be an ostrich? This drink will show you exactly how. You’ll wake up the next day with half your head buried in the sand while you’re covered in what seems to be your dinner the night before.

6. Blue Balls

What You Need:

• 1 oz. raspberry vodka
• 1 oz. coconut rum
• 1 oz. Blue Curacao liqueur

What to Do:

• Pour all three ingredients into a tin shaker.
• Make sure to add some ice into the mix and serve in a shot glass.

As fun as this drink may sound, the name may be prophetic. Don’t expect to get laid tonight when you’ve had one too many glasses.

7. Angel’s Tit

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What You Need:

• 1/4 oz Creme de Cacao
• 1/4 oz Maraschino Liqueur
• 1/4 oz Heavy Cream
• Maraschino Cherries

What to Do:

• Layer ingredients in a shot glass according to how it’s written.
• Chill the mix for 30 minutes and garnish with cherry.

You may not be as lucky as Leonardo DiCaprio or Adam Levine. You can’t seem to land that Victoria Secret Angel you’ve fantasized about. So what? You’ve got the next best thing in this drink! At least you’re not being a sore loser about it. Right? (*wink *wink)

8. Red-Headed Slut

What You Need:

• 1 oz. Jagermeister
• 1 oz. peach schnapps
• 2 oz. cranberry juice

What to do:

• Pour the mix in a shaker, strain the shot, and mix in a glass filled with ice.

It may be red, but we’re not exactly sure how this drink got its name. The inventor must have gotten his poor ol’ heart trampled on by a redheaded slut. At least, that’s what we think. While there’s no proof to our claim, it’s the most suitable explanation we can think of.

9. Mountain Dew Me

What You Need:

• 2 oz. Midori melon liqueur
• 1 oz. triple sec
• 4 oz. pineapple juice
• 1 splash Mountain Dew soda

What to Do:

• Add all the ingredients in a glass filled with ice.
• Garnish with lime if you want before serving.

Who would’ve thought that an innocent drink could one day become so dirty? Try ordering this in a bar. If that pretty girl behind the counter gives you this mix, she’s a keeper because she’s got one fine sense of humor. If she doesn’t, well, always have a flask of vodka with you and move along. Find another willing victim. There’s surely a girl out there who’s willing to “Mountain Dew You!”

10. Sex with An Alligator

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What You Need:

• 1/2 oz. raspberry liqueur
• 1 oz. melon liqueur
• 2 oz. sweet & sour mix
• 1/2 oz. Jagermeister

What to Do:

• Pour the melon liqueur and sweet and sour mix into a shaker.
• Fill with ice, shake, and strain into a chilled martini glass.
• Then, pour some raspberry liqueur and top it off with Jagermeister.

Say what? This drink doesn’t make sense. Sure, it’s green, but why in the world would you ever want to have sex with an alligator? Well, a few glasses of this and you just might!

11. Anus Burner

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What You Need:

• 1 part tequila
• 1 slice of jalapeño pepper
• A dash of hot sauce

What to Do:

• Place the jalapeño pepper in a shot glass and add Tequila.
• Add hot sauce until the drink becomes red.

If you don’t know what hell feels like, feel how the drink burns a path down your throat. If that doesn’t do you in, wait until the next day. You’re gonna burn your ass in the toilet. Try to live through the experience. All you get from this drink are bragging rights, but that may be reward enough for many of you. Just try to live through the next 24 hours.

12. Suck, Bang & Blow!

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What You Need:

• 1 oz. Jacquin’s orange flavored gin
• 1 oz. Rumple Minze peppermint liqueur
• 2 oz. Goldschlager cinnamon schnapps
• 1 oz. Jagermeister herbal liqueur
• 3 oz. Jose Cuervo Especial gold tequila
• 1 oz. Hpnotiq liqueur
• 1 oz. Smirnoff vodka
• 1 oz. Absolut Citron vodka
• 1 oz. Aristocrat triple sec
• 1 peeled, whole lime
• 5 oz. strawberry daiquiri mix
• 2 cups cranberry juice
• 1 cup sugar

What to Do:

• Add all the ingredients in a blender with ice.
• Serve in a hurricane glass and enjoy!

This is the beverage of choice for every alcoholic on his way to AA. This could very well be his last drink. What the heck, he’ll have it all. It’s deadly, fun, and infinitely strong. Your liver enzymes will be moaning for the next few months, but on the bright side, you’ve killed just about all the bacteria in your body.

13. Liquid Viagra

What You Need:

• 1 part Jagermeister herbal liqueur
• 1/3 can Red Bull energy drink

What to do:

• Mix Jagermeister and red bull. Enjoy!

Can’t get your hands on the real Viagra? Well, this one might just do the trick for you. You could very well get laid tonight and have sex until the wee hours of the morning. The best part? You don’t need a doctor’s prescription for something that might just be as effective. So, ride her like a bull and see how long you can last!

14. The Leg Spreader

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What You Need:

• 1 oz. 1800 Tequila
• 1 oz. vodka
• 1 oz. gin
• 1 oz. rum

What to do:

• Mix everything in a glass and drink.
• It’s that simple!

You think that the inventor of this drink just wanted to come up with a really dirty name that gets people laughing? We think that this was what happened when he drank what he mixed. We all know what happens when you mix drinks. Whether you’re a man or a woman, young or old, you’ll be that drunken whore who gets all the stares.

15. Afghanistani Whore

What You Need:

• 4 oz. rum
• 1 can root beer
• 4 oz. vodka

What to Do:

• Mix in a glass and drink.

Is the man who invented this drink still walking among us or is he in hiding?

16. Ass

What You Need:

• 1 oz. Absolut vodka
• 1 splash DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker schnapps

What to do:

• Fill the glass with ice and pour vodka.
• Top it off with a splash of schnapps for taste.

The name may sound simple. After all, it’s not even close to the dirtiest cocktail name you’ve seen on the list. But be wary! This sexual drink is best served when you’re at home with friends. You wouldn’t want to hear yourself saying, “Hey, bartender, I’d like some ass please.” You’ll obviously sound like a jerk.

Now that you’ve got the list to end all lists, throw a party and serve the dirtiest drinks to some of your dirtiest friends. Each glass should have a warning written on it: I’m not responsible for you at the end of the night!

Let us know what you think of these in the comments below!